June is almost always my favorite month. Why you may ask? It's my birthday month! Even though I am now nearly 31 it's still a fun time for me. I always get to spend time with my family and friends which is always fun for me. I don't really expect much in the form of gifts anymore, but they are always welcome! Anyway, This has been a pretty stressful month so far! Trying to figure out where we will be living next year... changing jobs...not having one all month... And now I finally feel like I'm getting some shit done! Oh it's true none of these things are actually taken care of, but for some reason I am feeling much more positive about them. I have decided to take a stand against my own negativity. I always seem to drag myself down and I am not going to do that to myself anymore! I deserve happiness and for once I am going to have it. I am no longer going to let others intimidate me or feel like a lesser person. I am no longer going to let others control my emotions or actions. I am standing up for me. I'm not sure what prompted my feeling of empowerment(although I have a slight idea), I am just going to roll with it and enjoy it! Who cares that I am broke as fuck? Who cares that I can't find a decent job that doesn't involve making dough? Literally making dough. Not money. I can still be a happy, positive person. And not just for me. For my kids and other family members. I see so many people in my life right now just being screwed over and having bad luck(not always just bad luck-making bad choices) and I am sick of letting that shit happen to me and letting it affect my and my kids' lives. Ok, now that I have said that... onto other subjects.... I went swimming at Kelly's today and had so much fun! My little wonderful girls are getting so big! Charlotte can swim and Lou, well she is trying really hard! That reminds me...I want to buy a bikini but just don't know if I'm truly ready for that step. Ok...think that's it for now...
That really about sums it up. I was having a great night with my sweet girls watching Spongebob and eating chicken soup( that I made not bought by the way) and snuggling and then stupid Return To Neverland came on. I do not enjoy that movie but the girls do so now I am back on here. Doing nothing. Stalking my friends for no reason whatsoever! You all have very cute pics by the way. So. I. AM. Bored. And open to suggestions as to what to do with myself. I have finished my last book, My Lobotomy, which was pretty good. I have plenty of others to start but am just not in the mood. I am out.
So I have not posted a blog in awhile and feel that I should say something about Charlotte's 6th birthday today. We went to see Hotel For Dogs and yes I cried. I cry at everything in case you didn't know. Now, I don't cry at anything that actually matters mind you..just movies like Firehouse Dog, Meet The Robinsons, and of course, Hotel For Dogs. But I'm getting off the subject. Today is my daughter's 6th birthday. I couldn't be happier. But if I am going to be honest this brings up the fact that I should have been pregnant with my 3rd child right now. I know I do a pretty good job of acting like it doesn't bother me but it does. I also cry about that still. I try not to and I don't like it, but what can I do? And I know that I broke up with Dan, and I feel like that was the best thing for me, but it's hard to think about him and not think about that. And then 2 days ago Meredith had her sweet baby girl Lila. I am so happy for her and she deserves it tons but again, how was I not supposed to think about that just a tiny little bit? Well anyway...Alissa's 4th birthday is on the 1st so I'm sure I will go through all these sucky emotions again then. I just hope it doesn't hit me as hard.
Well, I am not going to get into my whole life story. Just wanted to say a few things. Things don't always happen like you think they are going to. Many bad things happen to many people who aren't bad. No matter what you do things don't always turn out like you hoped. I have hoped for many things in my life and quite honestly things have gone pretty well. Until recently. I really don't want to sit around and feel bad for myself when I truly have a lot to be thankful for but it's hard. I guess it's true that God will never give you more than you can handle in one day. I just wish He didn't think I could handle so much.